Never Forgotten
by Caskett.Esplanie
Summary: A series of one-shots. An dedication to a dead character. AU


**A/N: This has been bouncing around my head. So, I can think of a thing to write for my other story, A Party at the 12****th**** Precinct, so I thought 'why not?' THIS HAS MAJOR CHARACTER DEATHS!Each chapter is separate. Sorry for any time errors.**

**Disclaimer: I'd like to stay out of jail. They are not mine, Mr. Marlowe if you are reading this, I am humbled, jubilant. Please Review. I want more Castle soon! If you are not Mr. Marlowe, still review!**

ooo

I don't even have to address this. By the time I am through, everyone will know who this is to. You won't be reading this though.

It's been exactly eight years since I first remember meeting you. Apparently, we met before then, at one of my book signings. Anyways, it has been eight years since you brought me in to _help_ you with the Tisdale case. It's been eight years since I pressured the mayor to get Montgomery to let me shadow you for "research." It's been eight years since the first time I offered for you to sleep with me. You declined. My ego was wounded. It's been about eight years since your ex-boyfriend, Will Sorenson, came to town. The look on your face was basically priceless. However, I have been told, it was nothing compared to the look on _my_ face when I interrupted you two about the case later on. It was the first time the Detective Beckett I knew actually acknowledged a private life. I was jealous. I could tell he had really hurt you when he left for Boston. I'm getting off topic. That was the first time anyone had turned me down and I had to deal with their ex rubbing it in my face. It hurt, but I took the punishment.

It's been seven years since I found out what happened to your mom. It's been seven years since I did a little investigating on my own and found out it wasn't gang violence. I found out that others had been killed the same way your mom was. It's been almost seven years since you first threatened to have me kicked out of the Precinct. I couldn't have that, could I? So, I played the part of the "victim" to get back on one case. Then I had to do the one thing that no man likes to do, apologize. Somehow, I miraculously convinced you to let me back. Maybe Montgomery told you that you had no choice. Whatever the reason, I didn't care. It has been seven years since I placed my first bet at the Precinct. It was who (you and I or Ryan and Esposito) could solve our murder first. It has been seven years since I got introduced to the vampire fetish. These didn't sparkle, either. I was ecstatic. It has been about 6 ½ years since we first met the Feds as a team. This was when the stalker/serial killer was targeting you. Six and one-half years since we first met Jordan Shaw and she thought we were sleeping together. You almost choked on your drink. However, you did get mighty jealous when I started building theory with her. It has been about 6 14 years since you met Detective Tom Demming. I watched you open up to a man in less than a week when I had to scratch for anything for years. For the first time, I hated a perfectly good man. He was safe for you. It has been a little more than six years since I offered for you to come to the Hamptons with me. Then, when I saw you kissing Demming, I knew you picked him over me. I didn't want to stick around and see that every day. So, I told Montgomery that I was done with my research. The spy game case would be my last case. It's been a little over six years since Gina went with me to the Hamptons because I didn't give enough time to answer. I was stupid. I'm sorry.

It's been six years since I pulled the "universe wants us to give it another shot" to get back working with you. It's been that long since you found me standing over my friend's dead body holding a gun. You thought, no hoped, I was guilty of more than breaking your heart. Once the boys were speaking to me again, they told me how pitiful you were, all summer. I'm sorry. It's been 5 ½ years since you met Natalie Rhodes, who was auditioning for the part of Nikki Heat. You hated her. However, you were flabbergasted that I didn't sleep with her. That only supported what Lanie was trying to tell you. In her words it would be, "Imma smack you! Can't you see that Writer-boy's changed for you, sweetheart?" Anyways, it's been 5 ¼ years since we met Agent Fallon and saved the world from a dirty bomb. We almost froze to death. Just when I was going to confess how I felt, your boyfriend at the time, Dr. Josh Davidson, showed up. He delayed his trip to Haiti for you. How could I compete with that? It has been a little over 5 years since I traveled to LA with you to find your old TO's, Mike Royce's, killer. You never did tell me what was in that letter Lanie found. Anyways, it has been 5 years since I had to drag you away from the fight that ended our dear Captain's, Roy Montgomery's, life. He killed every attacker in that hangar. He died, too. It has been 5 years since you gave the eulogy at his funeral. I watched the sun glint off a sniper's scope. I tackled you to the ground, but I was too late. You were shot in the chest. I mustered the only words I could, "Kate. Stay with me, Kate. C'mon. I Love You. Kate. I Love you." Then you fell unconscious.

It has been 4 years and 9 months since you met me at a book signing. I was mad. 3 months. You had cut me off for 3 months. When you said you broke up with Josh, I was a little happier. You said you didn't remember anything about being shot. You lied. I didn't realize that until months later. I kept chipping at those walls. Eventually I found out. So, I went to work with Det. Slaughter. It was terrible. It was better than seeing you and hearing the voices in my head saying, "She doesn't love you." It has been 4 years since we fought that horrible night. I told you what I had been keeping from you, too. I left that night wondering if I should attend your funeral or not. The next day, you got thrown off the roof. I wasn't there for you. I should've been. I still thank Ryan, to this day, for telling Gates. You would be dead if he didn't. Not that anything matters anymore. That night, after Alexis' speech, you showed up in my doorway, soaking wet. I was so mad at you. I thought that if you had caught the guy who killed your mom, you would soon get tired of me. I couldn't stand that. When you said, he got away. I knew you chose me over him. You chose life over death.

The next morning I woke up thinking I had imagined it. I thought it was all a dream. An amazing dream, but a dream, nonetheless. I felt as if I had won the lottery when you came back into my room with coffee while wearing my shirt. Even though your hair was tousled and you had no shoes on, you were radiant. Then, the true horror of our relationship: Martha came home. I hid you in my closet, which you have never let me live down, but my mother (somehow) still knew you were there. How? I have no idea. Anyways, that year we fought. We fought about the reporter, about going to the Hamptons, about the anonymity, about everything. But the biggest fight was about 3 years ago.

You had flown to DC to interview for a job on the Attorney General's Investigative Team. You didn't tell me. That was almost the breaking point in our relationship. However, I tried to picture my life without you and I couldn't. You'd changed me so much. So, we met at the swings and I poured my heart out to you and begged you to marry me. You agreed. During your first case at DC, I was poisoned. You saved my life … again. I promised to leave your work alone. Then again, I'm not very good at keeping promises. First case I was able to get Ito with Ryan and Esposito, you and your partner show up and take it over. The boys wouldn't speak to me. They thought I was the guy on the inside. Then, you got fired. I never thought I would say that. Then, my number one fan held hostages at a bank and refused to talk to anyone but me. Even though you technically weren't NYPD, you still worked the case. At the end of it, you got your job back. I was ecstatic. The Dynamic Duo was back. We watched Sarah Grace be born in front of a burning building.

2 years ago, we tied the knot. It was beautiful. No matter what, we promised each other we would never marry again. Our two least favorite people, the Dragon and 3XK, were keeping a disturbingly low profile. Our honeymoon was gorgeous. You were gorgeous. Lanie about flipped when she heard I took you to Greece. I was surprised you let me. About 1 year and 9 months ago, we got the news. You were pregnant with a bouncing baby girl. We had already decided on a name: Johanna Nicole Castle. I was so happy to have another kid coming. Alexis busied herself with the nursery decorations.

A year ago to this day, Disaster struck and happiness settled in. The Dragon was killed mysteriously by a so-called ex-CIA operative we've met. He did say he kept an eye out for me. I sure do love Casino Royale. But sadly, life isn't perfect. I still have nightmares on what happened. 3XK broke into our house and skidnapped you. I only knew you were gone when the Mayor called me at 5:30 a.m. and told me to look out my window. You were laying there, 9 months pregnant, with your throat slit and your stomach. Don't worry the boys have taken care of Tyson. He won, though. He took away one of the most important things to me: you.

You'll never know this, but six months ago, Alexis made me wash our sheets, they still (faintly) smelled like you. Every day, I run through the scenarios. Is there any way I could have saved you? I adopted a child who looks just like you a month ago. She was born the day you died. I named her Johanna Nicole Castle. She's the only Nikki I have left. She's not related to you, but her eyes are the exact same as yours used to be. At your funeral, I gave your eulogy. No-one was shot at this one. Lanie and Esposito have been engaged for 3 months. Lanie's pregnant. She said if it's a girl, it will be called Kate. We all miss you. You'd yell at me for being sentimental, but this book was supposed to be released 3 weeks ago. I delayed it to line up with our timeline. So, Katherine Houghton Beckett-Castle, here's _Dead Heat._ I know it's a giveaway for the ending, but I don't care. You will never read this, but here's our word.

**ALWAYS.**

-RC


End file.
